RECIPE :: grams

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: in the moment

ARTIST :: jim james

MOOD :: be cool

next, mix together weed and endorphins

granddaddy purple

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old school indica. super comfy with thoughts as deep as your beckoning ass couch. if you’re pairing this with exercise, smoke & go.

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

social media itself isn't bad. its popularity comes from a need we all have to be seen… for who we are (or who we think we are). i’m personally grateful to have a space where i can leave a record of my time here on this earth.

we’re cooperative creatures. it’s in our nature to feel more secure when we’re making connections. but when getting the need for visibility fulfilled on a superficial level becomes addictive, we can sacrifice a lot of authentic living in the pursuit of getting that outside affirmation fix. and what happens when we play too rough with our toys? they don’t work anymore.

the good news is the evolution of its use from a toy to a tool is already happening, thank god. we use it as a toy when the purpose is telegraphing our brand to the outside world. we use it as a tool when the purpose is connecting through thought in a way that the world no longer feels outside. i don’t know about y’all, but i’m trying to find my fellow thought tribesmen.

global community shit. can we hurry up though?

RECIPE :: backwards & forwards

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: how do i talk to my brother?

ARTIST :: ben pirani & the means of production

MOOD :: If you’ve been procrastinating on reaching out to your trumpy cousin who you love and miss, this song will get you off your ass.

next, mix together weed and endorphins

do-si-dos

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A thinkin-man’s Indica. Cathartic, deep, profound… I got something off my chest that I’ve been carrying around for way too long.

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

Once white people are a minority, white supremacists are going to see a lot of their worst fears come true. White power will become obsolete; no longer part of the conversation that will determine the future of humans. This is what they are trying to avoid and is also the inevitable result of their efforts. 

The shift in racial, religious, ethnic ratios is just part of the natural ebb and flow of evolution. But rather than weave ourselves into the fabric of humanity, White Greed has motivated the unnatural murder, suppression, and trauma of these "other" groups for hundreds and hundreds of years. And these actions will be the cause of the downfall, not what prevents it. The irony is thick. 

Psychological warfare, fear, rewriting of history - these are powerful weapons and have worked to aid colonizers to do what they do best; take without asking, and keep without sharing. But nature always collects her balance in the end and I predict the final notice is about to be served. 

And even if you're not a white supremacist actively working to eliminate groups with different physical features than your own, there are way too many people who still behave as if their privilege is a birthright... or those who don't even think about their privilege that much at all. White people as a whole fucked up by not recognizing and addressing these tendencies early on. If we're not actively working to right the wrongs of those who came before us, if we’re not doing everything we can to restore balance and fairness in ways we're fully capable of, then we've signaled to the changemakers that our contributions are ineffectual at best, destructive at worst. Our conduct must demonstrate credibility first, if we want to take part in the conversations that future, cooperative societies will be built from.

…

White supremacists' panic is based on fact: eradication of the "white race" is inevitable, simply from a biological perspective. But what I can't understand is why, knowing this, they would continue to cling to an idea of "greatness" through force and suppression… like if you’re so great, why would you need to force people to say it? By insisting on this as the only way, they're ensuring their legacy will become nothing but a cautionary tale as soon as we evolve into inclusive beings at last.

RECIPE :: jealousy

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: so good

ARTIST :: big sean // metro boomin // kash doll

MOOD :: there’s only one when this song is on

next, mix together weed and endorphins

zkittles

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This thing is Indica af. Don’t smoke it if you don’t want to zone out into a blissful reverie. Not good if you’re trying to get motivated to run. You’ll have to find other ways to get a workout in the house, hibernation style.

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

Jealousy is real. But the key is to realize its purpose; it's there as a warning. To alert us that we might be about to get hurt. The story doesn't have to end there, however. The next step is to assess the situation and determine if the person in question is someone who would intentionally try to hurt us. Yes? Then run. No? Then it's probably someone you can talk to about how you're feeling. Figure out together if adjustments in yall's expectations can, or should be made. You can design your life however you want it. Hopefully your playmates get that, too.

But without honesty (both with each other and oneself), none of this is possible.

Don't be so shy, boo. 

RECIPE :: anarchy

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: open letter

ARTIST :: jay-z feat. swizz beats

MOOD :: jay said it ::

Sorry y'all, I don't agree with y'all parents
Politicians never did shit for me
Except lie to me, distort history
Wanna give me jail time and a fine
Fine, let me commit a real crime

Y'all must want to start a revolution
You know whenever I'm threatened, I start shooting 

-jay-z (open letter)

click to explore enhanced lyrics expertly created by the geniuses at genius

next, mix together weed and endorphins

Gelato

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Gelato is amaaaaaazeballs as my friend S****** would say.

It’s a special occasion weed. It’s guest weed. My guy brings it by jetpack. The truth rises up so high it’s impossible to ignore, so all that’s left to do is scoop it off and savor it like the cream that rises to the top.

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

Having a conversation with a friend about different times and wondering if slave owners knew that what they were doing was wrong. Their argument is that if the accepted “science” of the time was that these people were actually not people; they were people-esque, then “treating them like animals” was as rational a way of life as treating animals “like animals” is today.

We, as a species, are notorious hypocrites. I don’t think that’s anything new. It’s like when slaveowners in the south would go to church on Sunday and talk about how “life is beautiful and sacred” while having humans locked up in literal chains at home. Is this where the intentional choice to remain ignorant is born? All you need is one dude to tell you, “ Oh these humans? Oh yeah, they’re not actually human. Not like you or me.” And you’re just like, “Yep! Sounds like that checks out! I’ll take two.”

And we do it all the time, still. Like if I’m being really honest with myself, I know that eating meat at this point in our evolutionary journey is shitty. But I still do it, sometimes without even all that much enthusiasm. Our bodies can get everything they need from so many different sources; it’s just shitty at this point to have all these animals being forced to make the ultimate sacrifice, for what? These chicken strips that I’m going to push away as soon as they’re not the perfect temperature anymore? Pretty much every animal I’ve ever gotten to know has been super cool. Or at least cool enough not to want to kill on the spot. Why would I choose hypocrisy here?

We love to brag about our big ass brains, but choose not to use them at the dumbest times. If we don’t self-destruct or if nature doesn’t fry us all to smithereens within the next 20-30 years, if we continue to adapt and grow and evolve, I can see our descendants a millennia or two down the line being like, “No, but they really just kept eating animals like wayyyy after it was imperative for survival. Because they liked the taste, bro.” And everybody’s just like “Wow, gross. That’s fucked up. They had to know that was fucked up right?”

So we’re really just pretending something that’s wrong isn’t wrong so that we don’t have to face our hypocrisy? Ok. Would it be fair to say that selfishness motivates every evil act? Doing whatever it is you want, without compassion for those the act may harm sounds like a fitting definition for both concepts.

We all fall somewhere on that spectrum at some point(s) in our lives - making choices based on our own interests in any given us-or-them scenario. I wonder, though, if where we fall on that spectrum is what lies at the foundation for our individual moral codes. If how far we are willing to go, and how many souls we are willing to sacrifice for our own self-interest varies from person to person, so how are those codes generated and who’s monitoring their effectiveness?

Where’s the line between willful ignorance and apathy? Does it matter?

RECIPE :: signs of spring

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: esta noche

ARTIST :: azelia banks

MOOD :: mating season

next, mix together weed and endorphins

Blue Dream

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I just got back from hawaii and this weed captures that place's essence perfectly. on my run, i felt chill but motivated to get active for things that actually matter; life, empathy, surfing...

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

i saw three couples break up in the park today. hopefully they're on their way to finding bliss in being themselves with another. i guess that means cuffing season has officially concluded and we can begin to welcome spring renewal. 

RECIPE :: here we all are

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: i choose you

ARTIST :: willie hutch

MOOD :: i choo choo choose y'all

next, mix together weed and endorphins

Purple Kush

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data complied by Leafly

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

I was talking to a friend about a recent act of violence that went down here in nyc & she was saying how awful it was and how nyc "isn't like that." Are we not though? 

In the book Shantaram, the dude talks about how India is so densely packed with people on top of people; his descriptions range from watching an angry mob literally carry someone off in a rage when a social norm was violated, all the way to extreme acts of kindness - and how the entire range is not only accepted, but celebrated. How no other country could be that congested with other humans and survive. I wonder what it would look like if you took this same formula and made a bunch of your say, Americans or Frenchmen or whatever get all close and competitive for resources with each others' sweaty gross selves. 

So I'm wondering if this bit of violence in nyc ... and in Nevada ... and in Charlottesville .... and in London ... and in Spain ... that this might be due to us all getting a little closer in that we now have more direct access into each other's minds & psyches than during any other era, ever. Maybe it's too close, too soon and we're freaking out collectively in the face of what we’re seeing in each other.  

Maybe what India's got going on is like this Miyazaki quote: 

When I say "hero", do not picture someone with the strength to fight and conquer evil - because evil is not something that can be defeated. Evil is natural. It is innate in all humans. But while it can't be defeated ... it can be controlled. In order to control it, and live the life of a true hero, you must learn to see with eyes unclouded by hate. See the good in that which is evil, and the evil in that which is good. Pledge yourself to neither side, but vow instead to preserve the balance that exists between the two.

RECIPE :: SWOONING

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: no woman

ARTIST :: whitney

MOOD :: i'm got

next, mix together weed and endorphins

California Dream

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California Dream (CD), or Humboldt Dream (HD) sets a mood. You feel like an artist when you combine this straight up indica with endorphins. Don't sit down after smoking or you'll skip the run and end up in a creativity k-hole.... which could be cool too. 

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

If you've been thinking about getting into the rock n roll game in order to get girls, consider writing a love song like this. Pull that off and you'll do just fine. 

RECIPE :: JUST DON'T

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: king heroin

ARTIST :: james brown

MOOD :: holy fucking shit this song

next, mix together weed and endorphins

Sour Diesel

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I was smoking Sour D on this run but I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter. Anything would go with this song. 

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

RECIPE :: HOLD ON & LET GO

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: believe in me

ARTIST :: flamingosis

MOOD :: diamonds on the run

SHOUTS ::  our star the sun

next, mix together weed and endorphins

Sour Diesel

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Sour Diesel (Sour D) took me on a super dreamy run. I imagined myself way back in time and what life may have been like then.  It was cool but scary. 

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

When I was home in Texas for Christmas this year, my cousin was telling me about how her husband got her set up with ancestry.com as her gift and all the surprising things she was discovering about our family history. Like the fact that our ancestors were "big time slave owners." My first inclination upon hearing this was to wish I didn't know. But accuracy has to trump fantasy if we're going to eradicate ignorance. So I was forced to think about this issue from a personal perspective. 

My concern isn't biologically based, however. I don't think that just because you share a bloodline with people who committed evil acts, that you are predisposed to commit them yourself. But now I know that people in my family went to a very dark place in their humanity. And if it could happen to them, it could happen to me. 

We humans are always in danger of getting caught up in complacency. We let so much horrible shit slide in the service of our comfort, safety, and security. We have to watch that. When we prioritize our own comfort to the point of sacrificing free will in other humans in order to maintain it, then we are no better than my ancestors. Knowing that people in my family got this lost at one time will serve as a constant reminder that I have a debt to pay and I only go deeper in the hole when I don’t address the current systems of oppression and exploitation that I contribute to today. 

If I really don’t want to be like them, it is in my power to break the cycle.

RECIPE :: MAKE AMERICA HATE

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: fdt

ARTIST :: yg & nipsey hussle

MOOD :: hell no

SHOUTS :: leaders

next, mix together weed and endorphins

Green Crack

recreational effects

data compiled by Leafly

Green Crack: a wholesome sativa. 

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

I guess Trump really is the leader we deserve, after all the “achieving peace by force” bullshit we've been spreading around the world ... it's about time some of that came home to us. 

But I still don't really understand why we did this to ourselves. Maybe we were getting bored & learn best by fucking with shit. Maybe we need another 50s before we can have another 60s. Or maybe it’s all just a giant pyramid scheme.

RECIPE :: SINGIN IN THE RAIN

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: golden times 1

ARTIST :: ben lukas boysen

MOOD :: find the others

SHOUTS :: tribal leaders

next, mix together weed and endorphins

Sour Diesel

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Sour Diesel (or Sour D) is a straight up sativa and will make you call people to tell them you love them. A standard for every household. 

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

This song reminds me so much of this amazing human I know. He's so fucking unique and cool in every way; a total unicorn. And yet somehow, it seems that there are these people in his life who aren't getting it. And his total happiness is hampered by feeling regularly misunderstood by those around him. However, despite the loneliness this creates, it's still preferable to inventing a generic personality just to appease the vision other’s have of him. 

So he keeps it moving, staying focused on self-truth and living completely in each minute.

In the middle of the song, the clouds lift and this fresh hopeful beauty weaves its way in. If a misunderstood soul finds someone who gets and celebrates them, the joy goes very deep due to the rarity of those connections. Getting these kinds of people together usually means some pretty cool shit is about to happen. I hope you get to try it. 

RECIPE :: GIVING IT AWAY

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: illuminati

ARITST :: homeboy sandman

MOOD :: leave something to the imagination

SHOUTS :: all my beloved conspiracy theorists out there .. luh you boo

next, mix together weed and endorphins

Pineapple Express

recreational effects

data compiled from Leafly

Pineapple express is a sativa strain. If there's a project or an idea you've been hoping to get inspired to work on for an entire afternoon and feel really awesome about your day afterwards, smoking this couldn't hurt. 

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

Whenever I'd read books like 1984 during even my angstiest teenage years, I'd still be skeptical that we could succumb to such a massive conspiracy meant to rob us of a huge piece of our humanity. Like, people would never really allow their freedoms and privacy to be taken away so freely; we would never let it get that far in real life. Surely people would see the warning signs and gather together to anchor our definition of humanity in the foundational idea that we all deserve free will in our lives. And isn't that the result of loss of privacy? That we alter our behavior from what feels natural when we think we're being observed, thereby negating our free will? 

Lately though, I've watched and taken part in a voluntary, collective sacrifice of privacies and freedoms. It wasn't that long ago that it would've seemed crazy to put so much of my identity into the hands of every stranger on the planet. But here we are. So what makes us do it? What compels us to so freely relinquish something as precious as our most personal private selves? There could be several factors at work: 

1. Legacy :: We want to be remembered so desperately that we create a running record of our lives for anyone to see and hopefully admire. Because the more admirers, the stronger the legacy. That's science. 

2. Loneliness :: The human condition dude! Gotta make those connections - it's way more fun to go through life with a crew. 

3. Sex :: Just like everything else, this too can be traced back to that biological drive to propagate your DNA. The internet is a great place to get the word out about your DNA. 

This is prob not a comprehensive list?

RECIPE :: FALLING

start with the song

Sudanese­-American hip­hop artist Oddisee's new EP, "Al­Wasta," takes its title from the Arabic colloquial term used to mean (to use colloquial English) "the plug." The term "wasta" comes from the Arabic word "wasat," meaning "middle" or "middleman," and describes a member of the community who acts as a connector using their wealth of social currency.

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: lifting shadows

ARTIST :: oddisee

MOOD :: don't be a dick 

SHOUTS :: to andrew jervis at bandcamp - every week this dude gives me at least one new song i can't put away 

next, mix together weed and endorphins

Girl Scout Cookies

recreational effects

data compiled from Leafly

Girl Scout Cookies (or GSC) is an OG Kush hybrid strain. It made me enjoy thinking about politics during my run. Pretty weird. 

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

People are literally going to vote to have Donald Trump as our president. And just imagine what shit's going to look like around here if he wins. Walking around NYC, you see how much this motherfucker loves putting his name on stuff. If he does get elected, it's going to make him look like our dystopian overlord without even trying. President Trump Tower, President Trump Construction Inc., The President Trump Show... Shit's gonna be wild. 

But whether or not he wins is kind of irrelevant at this point, right? His amount of unconditional support is kinda proof that we've already crossed over to the dark side. Shit is on. And this is some textbook right-before-the-fall-of-the-empire type mess.

We humans seem to crave and even expedite our own destruction. Maybe we ran out of predators to destroy and the only one left is ourselves. Maybe here in the US it's because there's no one in a position of influence who remembers what Civil War, Slavery, & The Depression were actually like. These were Walking Dead Apocalypses in real life, and we have no collective memory of it. We haven't really had our nerve tested like that since and it seems like we're itching for it. 

So we just keep taunting the dragon... why do we do that? Maybe we no longer get that things can go bad all by themselves. 

RECIPE :: PRIORITIZING JOY

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: glorious

ARTIST :: sa-ra

MOOD :: be good to feel good 

SHOUTS :: to beats brunch & bud for putting me on

next, mix together weed and endorphins

Blueberry Kush

recreational effects

data compiled by Leafly

Blueberry Kush is an indica all the way, so if you're using it to run, you need to smoke and then gtfo. If you chill / dick around too long after smoking, you'll def get sucked into your couch. It's a super comfy body high, so if you do make it out of the house and start running, you'll feel amazing - like you're on cruise control. 

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

Joy: I used to hate that word. I knew a girl named Joy when I was a kid. Then she discovered meth, and the word hasn't had the same meaning for me since. I've been warming up to it lately, though.

What do you prioritize in order to maintain joy in and for life? For me, I like doing what I want, when I want. That's about freedom - really feeling free. That priority outweighs most others. When that freedom is felt, other joys are easy to see. So if there's room to infuse more joy into life, the first step is identifying the sources. 

Talking shit through with friends is the shit. Especially if they challenge, debate, & dream with you, laugh, cry, & get mad with you. It's deep fun. Nothing compares to having a friend who brings you joy just by being in the world, breathing. 

Being outside is important. Going to awesome restaurants and eating awesome food is awesome. Putting on a spontaneous trap music ballet for your cat is just the kind of old lady fun I'm into. When you're talking to strangers, remember that everyone you meet knows something you don't. Discover new, meaningful music to continue the beautiful education that never has to end........

All this stuff can be traced back to joy. A moment of joy is just a moment when you’re hyped up about life. And it's we who decide how much of our lives are spent feeling hyped to be here. Make it a priority, then ensure it through the practice of keeping your mind open to new shit. 

RECIPE :: FEMINISM

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: don't save her

ARTIST :: project pat

MOOD :: where does feminism come from

SHOUTS :: helping homies

next, mix together weed and endorphins

Girl Scout Cookies

recreational effects

data compiled from Leafly

Girl Scout Cookies (or GSC) is an OG Kush and usually results in a moderate body high that still encourages movement and sightseeing. GSC is the best for running. It always takes my thoughts further than they usually go. During GSC runs, I'll probably talk to strangers, pay admission to run up the ramp at the Guggenheim, dip into a bar for a mid-run beer, or climb scaffolding. 

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

Today was interesting, I discovered the song "Don't Save Her" by Project Pat. And then an hour later, read an article about Instagram hoes. It was an interesting juxtaposition.

So the article is basically about how these women are allowing themselves to be flown to places like Dubai to have their faces used as diarrhea toilets and their vaginas to be used by German Shepherds. For money. So they can buy designer shit. So they can post pictures of their expensive lifestyle on IG. So they can advertise themselves for trips to Dubai. 

And the song is on theme too; it's ho-themed. Apparently E-40 was the first to comment on the concept of saving hoes back in the 90s and J. Cole is using it today. So in Project Pat's song, he's basically trying to get through to this dude who wants to marry his cheating GF. He wants to reason with his misguided & lovelorn buddy, like, "Dude, she's trying to show you with her actions she's not interested in you like that. Can't you see, she's giving you just enough attention to keep you paying for her lifestyle?"

Mixing that song with that article resulted in me questioning my own brand of feminism, and if I even had the “right kind.” In one sense, I think these ladies are selling themselves short, but then I remember sister solidarity, etc. Maybe the heart of feminism is about females just being as fucked up and confused as everyone else. And how maybe we should all just give each other a little more room to do our thing & figure our shit out. Maybe compassion and acceptance is where true equality comes from? 

RECIPE :: BECOME A RUNNER

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: bad girls

ARTIST :: m.i.a.

MOOD :: bad girls do it well

SHOUTS :: my first ever running anthem

next, mix together weed and endorphins

Blueberry Haze

recreational effects

data compiled from Leafly

Blueberry Haze is a hybrid, but delivers that indica-style dry mouth & for that reason, running on it can be tricky. Before you head out, make sure you're all the way hydrated or that you're running somewhere with a shit ton of water fountains. You can also make a chia fresca to chug 30 minutes before you leave to stay hydrated while you're out. And chew gum. 

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

This is a start-running manifesto I wrote for a friend who hated running.

1. Think about how it feels to take a beautiful drive out in the country - all your windows down and your music up. Running is NYC's non-driving key to unlocking that vibe. 

2. Put some really great music on a little clip-on shuffle... and remember to a) make your playlist eclectic. Vary the selections by tempo, genre, era, etc. b) Go for the shuffle rather than your iphone - leave that fucking thing at home for once. Getting off the grid for at least an hour a day is liberation. c) Get yourself a running anthem. Every time Bad Girls comes on my shuffle, running my bad bitch ass off becomes compulsory. 

3. Weed. I can't emphasize this enough. You're in your own space with your music and your thoughts and weed takes it to a whole new level. Once your endorphins kick in you feel like you can & will conquer the world. 

4. You HAVE to get past the first mile. The first mile still sucks for me EVERY. TIME. But that's the challenge. You just have to accept and fucking suck it up mans. And then the coolest thing happens; after the first mile you begin to forget that you're running at all. Your mind starts to wander, you start smiling and then you're cruising - that's mind and body working together bb. 

5. Don't be afraid to start in the winter. It's kind of like learning to drive on a stick rather than automatic. if you learn how to do something in the hardest way, everything else is easy by comparison. And think about how amazing it would be to get through the beginner stages in the winter and then really be moving by the time beautiful-ass spring rolls around. Cherry trees, stripping down to a sports bra mid-run, smiling at strangers... ahhhhh.

6. Don't be so hard on yourself, boo! If at any point you feel like stopping and walking, do it. Think more about how good it feels that you're out there gettin to it, and less about how much you haven't done, how far you have to go, and whether or not you'll ever get around to doing it again. Remember, you only have to get past the first mile. Your walking breaks will become shorter and shorter over time and you'll start to crave getting going again. Half of running is physical and half of it is a mind game. If you start psyching yourself out, just take a minute to realize that you're in the wrong state of mind and then flip the switch. it's a simple as changing the channel. 

Ain't nothing to it but to do it. 

RECIPE :: RECOGNIZING NATURE

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: the blacker the berry

ARTIST :: kendrick lamar

MOOD :: you need to git up git out and git something 

SHOUTS :: to myself for my long-term kendrick obsession

next, mix together weed and endorphins

girl scout cookies

recreactional effects

data compiled from Leafly

Girl Scout Cookies (or GSC) is an OG Kush hybrid strain. It's a spacey one, and when combined with the endorphins from running (or maybe other exercise too idk), picks you up and plants you down on an astral plane of thought you may or not have been prepared to examine. But once you're there, why the fuck not? Delve. 

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

The Blacker The Berry came on the ipod today while running around the reservoir in Central Park. It's pure rage. Enraging rage. By the second chorus, you're pretty much ready to give up on humanity and burn this fucker to the ground. But then he does something - his greatest skill - just after the peak of the anger release, he transitions into this really gorgeous outro; a sad but soulful and soaring hope. This is why people see Kendrick Lamar as everything from a prophet to a leader to a visionary; a true artist.  

Just as the outro kicked in (right around 4:27), a flock of geese took off from the reservoir to continue on their southbound flight. It was a really beautiful reminder of the power of nature and how we're all driven by those instinctual compulsions that we're not always aware of. It made me wonder: what drives us to do what we do and to what extent are we too bound by nature in the choices we make? How much of our ostensibly free will, is actually innate directive?   

As anyone who's studied history knows, not all of our instincts exhibit a harmony with nature. We humans have shown that we're driven by a need for power. This in itself isn't insidious, but when its acquisition leads to the suppression of other voices, we start staring into a darkness that can eclipse other, brighter tendencies. It's not a new idea - we've been pulling this shit since we got started on this planet - so apparently it's also in our nature not to learn from the mistakes of our past. 

Is the quest for power so seductive that we'd forsake the brighter sides of our humanity? Gaining power by stepping on those who are less willing to take what they want by force, isn't the kind of power you want. Have we really not learned that yet? It never ends well. This tendency of taking power by any means and then not learning from the inevitable repercussions (only to repeat the cycle) is our achilles heel as a species.  

Breaking this loop is a fight worth picking with our nature. According to Kendrick and his message, music and beauty are the tools we need to hone if we're going to overcome those darker urges.  I have faith in this man - he's already changing the world. 

RECIPE :: GETTIN IT

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: best love

ARTIST :: georgia ann muldrow

MOOD :: let's just all be cool to each other 

SHOUTS :: got this little nugget from @dustyfingers

next, mix together weed and endorphins

Sour Diesel

Recreational Effects

Data compiled from Leafly

Sour Diesel (or Sour D) is a sativa and is perfect for running - it's basically an energy and invigoration delivery system. 

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

Damn this song! It goes with everything; I've listened to it in the shower, making dinner, running through Central Park, sitting out on the stoop, smoking too much weed for a weekday, seducing a gentleman caller, you name it. And every single time, I feel like a bad bitch from the 70s with feathered hair and a crochet bikini, roller skating through life. 

Listening to soul music is how you keep your soul healthy btw. 

RECIPE :: FEELING FEELINGS IN THE WILD

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: lft

ARTIST :: quadron

MOOD :: moving bodies .. in the non-murdery way

SHOUTS :: to summers with ricco

next, mix together weed and endorphins

cali kush

Recreational Effects

Data compiled from Leafly

Cali Kush is an indica-sativa hybrid. They have sativa-dominant strains and indica-dominant strains, depending on what you're into. Mixing Cali Kush with running gave me a warm, soothing feeling all throughout my body on a pretty cold day. It was lovely. 

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

part one - catching feelings

This can happen to anybody and when it does, it always feels like the first time; like no other experience of falling in love can compare to this one, this is the real one.  The key when this happens is not to find ways to suppress those feelings - no! Enjoy that shit, love is awesome and rare. The key though, if you don't want to get completely lost in it, is to practice balance by spreading some of those feelings around to yourself. It's pretty easy to find balance if you make habits of doing the things that lie at the foundation of who you are.

For example, running is my shit. I always feel more connected to the planet when I'm running through it. So practice doing whatever makes you feel like a badass. Whether your thing is running, playing video games, cooking, people-watching at a cafe, doing yoga, whatever, keep that shit in your repertoire. Because falling in love can eclipse everything else you thought was important. 

It always feels like the first time, every time. Like all other loves were just practice; child's play to get you ready for this one. Just remember, that's bullshit. All those experiences with love, including the current one, share one thing in common - you. Those feelings are within you. Certain people have the chemistry, personality, and pheromones to tap into your inner beauty, but it's been inside there the whole time. The people who bring it out of us are less like the source, and more like the catalyst. The magical things you're feeling belong to you, so share some of that lovely infatuation with yourself. And then when or if the person who lit the spark drifts away, you're left with a healthy fire burning that illuminates all the loves of your past. Rather than feeling empty and deprived of those presences, you can enjoy the memories and appreciate the ways they enhanced your life. So when you hear people hating on catching feelings, they probably forgot this step. 

part two - concrete jungle 

Thinking about all this stuff also led to the phrase "concrete jungle" making sense for the first time. Running through a city is like that. You start to think of yourself as a fucking cheetah. Literally a fucking cheetah; like running really fast while scoping out the other cheetahs you'd smash. There's something about the primal act of running - enjoying feeling all of your muscles working together, increased blood flow to the brain, general badassness - that inevitably leads to thoughts of other fun primal acts. 

When you start thinking in terms of the city being like a jungle, you also start to compare the humans you see on your way to animals you might encounter in the less-metaphorical wilderness: nervous birds darting around, peaceful meandering elephants, greedy hyenas, observant giraffes, stalking cats.

All this came about on a run during the first little sneak peek into spring in NYC. Mating rituals of the park animals are hilarious at this time. The ladies are all super stand-offish and the dudes are thirsty beyond belief. I saw these two turtles engaged in a very inelegant game of chase vs. playing hard to get. The guy turtle was swimming awkward circles around this lady turtle who just kept rebuffing him like "ew," slowwwwly swimming away over and over. 

It seems that the beginning and ending of the spring mating season can be extended as a metaphor for the larger reproductive window we get as humans, too. When we're in our 20s, we’re crazy picky. We're looking for the perfect blend of genes and personality to bless with the galaxies swirling around inside of us. Then, as we move into our 30s and notice the window beginning to close, we get a lot less picky and tbqh, a lot more fun. And whether you want kids or not, the biological clock is loud af soooooo…. basically ladies in their 30s are thinking about sex a LOT. That's where it starts, with the internal biological urges which are there to keep the species going. This act was made to be enjoyable so that we'd remember to do it. 

I wonder if Lady Turtle will feel differently about Thirsty Turtle by the closing of the mating season window.

RECIPE :: YOUTH

start with the song

press play to listen while you read

SONG :: hot n*gga

ARTIST :: bobby shmurda

MOOD :: in charge

SHOUTS :: to myself for stealing music from boys' hard drives over the years

next, mix together weed and endorphins

OG Kush

Recreational Effects

Data compiled from Leafly

OG Kush is a sativa-indica hybrid. Running after smoking OG Kush resulted in insane amounts of euphoria and general glee. Interestingly, it also made me feel very focused. When this song came on, I was instantly transported to the moment mentioned in the section below. I was THERE! The memory was vivid and visceral. It was a cool experience. 

let everything simmer until epiphanies develop

On today's run, Hot N*gga by Bobby Shmurda came on the shuffle and made me think back, laughing about the first time I saw the video. I knew the song, but had never seeeeeeen him. I was in complete shock like, "But he's so young! And to already be talking about such things??" I was properly aghast and never felt more like an old concerned citizen in my life. 

I immediately got these protective feelings like the-youth-have-lost-their-way type shit. Those feelings that make you realize you're no longer a part of the group you're suddenly feeling protective over. The day you've gained enough knowledge and wisdom to usefully pass some on, is the day you graduate to a new phase of life. And once we're there, we seem to think we need to prevent the kids from making the same mistakes we made, and needed to make, in order to learn those important lessons we feel compelled to teach. It's funny because every adult throughout history has lamented about how the youth are dooming themselves, and yet, the youth always seem to make it ... at least long enough to condemn the choices of the following generation. 

The kids are (probably) gonna be fine.